All my life. I am 27 years old nearly 28 I was chasing. Maybe I am still chasing something that is called the eternal happiness in life. I wanna feel good warm and comfortable.
Throughout I chose things that made me feel less happy for just a small portion of it. Just this glimpse of happiness that might stay for a little longer. Whom did I do it for? For myself?
In the endgame this might have been the case. In the mid-game and this is where I am mostly stuck. I did it for sociality. In the end sure this is also about being more happy. But I never reached the end-game. I never felt en par with myself. My mind just like a rat searching for the next big thing to conquer the next thing to buy and to just find out. It is all pointless and happiness is just within. You can be happy with yourself.
Is it happiness I am searching for? Is it really the right word for that?
I doubt it.
Content with the situation and striving for feeling myself. Being a little closer to me and getting to know me until I can’t anymore.